So I’ve been thinking about how do I show, my friends, my family my loved ones I love them…
And also how do the people I love show how they love me?
I posted the question on Facebook and got a few different kinds of answer from Gifts to kisses, from doing things for me to neck rubs, spending time together and even telling me “I love you”…
There are even websites dedicated to it… one of my favourites is http://www.5lovelanguages.com a great way to find out what way you like to be shown love (there’s a simple 3 minute test that is really handy to have done).
For the record they way I like to be shown I’m loved is in this order:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
In fact it’s often a combination of the top three for me that really get me going.
I like to be told I’m doing well, that I’m loved, that I’m appreciated… communication is BIG for me.
However I also love being able just to ‘hang’ with my loved ones, just to talk… just to be there with them just laughing goofing around, we can even sit in silence and I would be happy with that, in the knowledge that my friend is spending their quality time with me.
And finally I love people giving me stuff but here’s the thing… it could be a piece of string or a pebble or a leaf… it really could be anything as long as someone has put the time into thinking why they have given me this gift.
And so from the above list I would usually show I love people in the same way… the way that I love to be loved.
That can be hard because, well we’re simply not the same… we’re different. The way YOU show you love someone isn’t the same way that I show I love someone.
It’s handy knowing what someones ‘love language’ is, and when you know what spins their wheels it makes things a lot easier… If I like to be told “I appreciate you …” but my loved ones like me to give the hugs, then it’s really easy for me to say to them… “I tell you I appreciate you all the time”
To which they reply… “yes but you never SHOW me you love me!!!”
So if you don’t know what someones love language is where do you start?
The answer is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Now you see this verse a lot in weddings… but it’s actually a really good view on relationships in general.
Love is patient… it means there’s no hurry “One Day …” I’ll wait for you…
Love is Kind… why be mean or nasty or talk behind backs, what does that achieve?
Love is not jealous… I’m going to support them in the time they spend with other people
Love NEVER gives up… it’s seems so easy just to throw in the towel sometimes, however sometimes we just need to work through things.
Love never loses faith…
Is always hopeful… even when things look far from it
You see it’s not just about marriage… or just about our friends… it’s about relationship.
In fact Jesus made it even MORE clearer than that.
He said this:
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:34-35
So I guess at the end of the day our job is to LOVE one another…
The Bible even says “Love your enemies”